There are days when I feel like my sacrifice of homeschooling is accomplishing nothing. Days when my children fight, bicker and act selfish and I think they have learned nothing about character. Days when there are tears over math problems that I thought we mastered months ago. Days when no one can answer any questions from the reading that we just did. Days that make me wonder if I have been wasting my time.
Yet it seems like just before I decide to throw the towel in God gives me a gift of seeing some of the fruit of my harvest. A child with a learning disorder who reads aloud to his siblings, or who reads a book for fun. Going through a lesson and having children understand exactly what I am talking about. Or having children with bad attitudes turn around the next morning and offer to do something nice for a sibling.
If homeschooling produced quick and easy results then everyone would do it. My attitude and sacrifice as a homeschool mom is part of what plants the seed that harvests the fruit. Oftentimes it takes months or years of doing something before I start to see the fruit (good and bad) of the seeds that I planted.
Sometimes I am so busy trying to keep my schedule running according to plan and trying to make sure that I "get everything done" that I miss the sprouts, the leaves, the buds, and even the fruit that I have helped produce in my children.
So while I would love a whole harvest I will be content with an apple or an orange here or there, and I'm thinking I may even keep a journal of those apples and oranges, just like I keep a journal of my garden. Then the next time it seems like my crop isn't going to come in I have somewhere I can go to recall the fruit that has already been harvested.
Showing posts with label homeschooling. Show all posts
Showing posts with label homeschooling. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Dread or Anticipation?
For many of us today is the first day back to homeschool for the Spring semester. Talking with another homeschool mom yesterday I found that she didn't really want to go back to school today, and as it turns out my kids don't either.
I must admit that my first response thinking about school starting back again was similar. Homeschooling takes up so much of my time and having a few days to just hang out with my kids, or read a book was like taking a breath of fresh mountain air (which seems fresher than the city air I normally breathe). Part of me wanted to stay on break forever, even if my kids were starting to fight and asking if they could have more video game time, etc.
Yet, this morning just about all of my friends who send their kids off to school are thrilled that Christmas break is over, and I realized I should be equally excited about this opportunity to be on this journey with my kids. When they were small, and I was new in my homeschool journey everything was fresh and I was excited. Now, I have been homeschooling for 11 years and there are days that I am counting down the years I have left--trying to hurry through this journey that God has called me to.
I think I have forgotten that I am connected to the ultimate Lifesource. I have Living Water to drink from. If I am drinking that water then my well should never run dry. Moreover, I know from experience that when I am doing something that God has called me to do then I will be filled over and over again, just when I need it. The problem is that sometimes I am doing more than He wants me to do, or I expect more of myself than He does.
So, this morning I woke up anticipating this gift that He has given me this morning. This gift of teaching my children, and not just academics but so many other things. This gift of learning with my children. Mostly though homeschooling has given me this gift of being broken and spilled out for the sake of my children, for the sake of the call that He gave me. Rather than asking why He called me and not those other moms who are enjoying a cup of coffee in a quiet house I am going to ask why not me. Why shouldn't I have been given this privilege even if it comes at great cost to what I perceive to be my needs? My thoughts reminded me of a quote I had read before.
"One morning I was reading the story of Jesus' feeding of the five thousand. The disciples could find only five loaves of bread and two fishes. 'Let me have them,' said Jesus. He asked for all. He took them, said the blessing, and broke them before he gave them out. I remembered what a chapel speaker, Ruth Stull of Peru, had said : 'If my life is broken when given to Jesus, it is because pieces will feed a multitude, while a loaf will only satisfy a little lad.'"--Elisabeth Elliot
Happy homeschooling today!
I must admit that my first response thinking about school starting back again was similar. Homeschooling takes up so much of my time and having a few days to just hang out with my kids, or read a book was like taking a breath of fresh mountain air (which seems fresher than the city air I normally breathe). Part of me wanted to stay on break forever, even if my kids were starting to fight and asking if they could have more video game time, etc.
Yet, this morning just about all of my friends who send their kids off to school are thrilled that Christmas break is over, and I realized I should be equally excited about this opportunity to be on this journey with my kids. When they were small, and I was new in my homeschool journey everything was fresh and I was excited. Now, I have been homeschooling for 11 years and there are days that I am counting down the years I have left--trying to hurry through this journey that God has called me to.
I think I have forgotten that I am connected to the ultimate Lifesource. I have Living Water to drink from. If I am drinking that water then my well should never run dry. Moreover, I know from experience that when I am doing something that God has called me to do then I will be filled over and over again, just when I need it. The problem is that sometimes I am doing more than He wants me to do, or I expect more of myself than He does.
So, this morning I woke up anticipating this gift that He has given me this morning. This gift of teaching my children, and not just academics but so many other things. This gift of learning with my children. Mostly though homeschooling has given me this gift of being broken and spilled out for the sake of my children, for the sake of the call that He gave me. Rather than asking why He called me and not those other moms who are enjoying a cup of coffee in a quiet house I am going to ask why not me. Why shouldn't I have been given this privilege even if it comes at great cost to what I perceive to be my needs? My thoughts reminded me of a quote I had read before.
"One morning I was reading the story of Jesus' feeding of the five thousand. The disciples could find only five loaves of bread and two fishes. 'Let me have them,' said Jesus. He asked for all. He took them, said the blessing, and broke them before he gave them out. I remembered what a chapel speaker, Ruth Stull of Peru, had said : 'If my life is broken when given to Jesus, it is because pieces will feed a multitude, while a loaf will only satisfy a little lad.'"--Elisabeth Elliot
Happy homeschooling today!
Monday, August 22, 2011
The myth of the "homeschool" mom...
I know that I haven't blogged in a while, partly because this last month of summer I was just trying to pull my life together. When I feel disorganized I certainly don't feel like blogging about homeschooling or mothering since I feel like I am not as put together as I should be.
So, imagine my surprise over the last couple weeks when people keep telling me that I seem to have it all together. Then last week at a homeschool park day a mom shared that she was having a rough time and felt like she must be doing it wrong because the rest of us seemed to have it all down.
And that's when I realized that I should be blogging about my crazy and sometimes chaotic life. I wanted to blog to give other moms helpful tips and things I've done that have worked well, but I think they are also needing the truth of what the live of homeschool moms really look like.
The myth of the homeschool mom is that her kids are sitting down to school (which everyone is so excited to do) at precisely the time they are supposed to, dressed and with their morning chores done. They listen to her read without interruption (or raise their hand if they need something) and then go and do their work. No one yells or cries, and everyone LOVES homeschooling.
Now, since I have 6 children and have manged to homeschool without causing serious bodily harm to any of them people assume this is my life. Or they assume that anyone who can homeschool 6 children has some sort of saintly type qualities. So, let me assure you that I am not a saint and the only reason I have succeeded at all is by the grace of God. I also want to assure you that I do have bad days around here, and not just bad like we couldn't get everything done, or bad like no one cooperated and everyone lost privileges for the day. I'm talking bad like there was loss of privileges and the continued bad behavior until there was some yelling and then crying on mom's part, and on a really bad day she may even breathe the threat "Maybe I should just send you to Public School."
Now, I am not justifying this behavior. And I am willing to believe that there are some moms who never go there, but I really think from my experiences of talking with other homeschool moms we all have some days like this, and we all have a couple of those really bad days. But those days are not a failure if we turn around the next day and do better, or even if we just manage to get up the next day and try it again. Marriage, mothering, and homeschooling are exercises in character for us just as they are for our children. I shouldn't be yelling at my children, but my character is flawed and some days under extreme pressure it shows. The blessing of learning that is that I can make the changes I need.
And I think that is the real heart of a homeschooling mom. A flawed woman who wants to do what's best for her children and her family; who wants to follow God's leading and bring Him glory, but gets tripped up daily by her own character flaws as well as her response to her children's character flaws and after some weeping and praying gets back up and tries not to trip over the same things again.
So, for those of you who have started school and are having a rough time of it, we have all been there. Character training takes years, and just so you know my children are often sitting down at the table eating breakfast in their PJ's when I come up to get school started, and some of the teenagers have not even gotten out of bed yet. I have a couple of children who do not like school at all, one who is disruptive nearly every day and a dog who always seems to need a walk in the middle of history. My kids routinely seem to disappear into the bathroom while I am in the middle of reading aloud, or get up for a snack (which makes everyone else hungry for a snack too). I have children who cry (even when I am calmly explaining something) and some days I make the children cry by the things I say or do. But I love that my children are growing up at home, that we are learning together, that God is using the character flaws in our family to make all of us better people, and that there are good days and brief moments that make it all worth it. Our family (and our character) grows stronger little by little, not in one day of homeschooling.
So, imagine my surprise over the last couple weeks when people keep telling me that I seem to have it all together. Then last week at a homeschool park day a mom shared that she was having a rough time and felt like she must be doing it wrong because the rest of us seemed to have it all down.
And that's when I realized that I should be blogging about my crazy and sometimes chaotic life. I wanted to blog to give other moms helpful tips and things I've done that have worked well, but I think they are also needing the truth of what the live of homeschool moms really look like.
The myth of the homeschool mom is that her kids are sitting down to school (which everyone is so excited to do) at precisely the time they are supposed to, dressed and with their morning chores done. They listen to her read without interruption (or raise their hand if they need something) and then go and do their work. No one yells or cries, and everyone LOVES homeschooling.
Now, since I have 6 children and have manged to homeschool without causing serious bodily harm to any of them people assume this is my life. Or they assume that anyone who can homeschool 6 children has some sort of saintly type qualities. So, let me assure you that I am not a saint and the only reason I have succeeded at all is by the grace of God. I also want to assure you that I do have bad days around here, and not just bad like we couldn't get everything done, or bad like no one cooperated and everyone lost privileges for the day. I'm talking bad like there was loss of privileges and the continued bad behavior until there was some yelling and then crying on mom's part, and on a really bad day she may even breathe the threat "Maybe I should just send you to Public School."
Now, I am not justifying this behavior. And I am willing to believe that there are some moms who never go there, but I really think from my experiences of talking with other homeschool moms we all have some days like this, and we all have a couple of those really bad days. But those days are not a failure if we turn around the next day and do better, or even if we just manage to get up the next day and try it again. Marriage, mothering, and homeschooling are exercises in character for us just as they are for our children. I shouldn't be yelling at my children, but my character is flawed and some days under extreme pressure it shows. The blessing of learning that is that I can make the changes I need.
And I think that is the real heart of a homeschooling mom. A flawed woman who wants to do what's best for her children and her family; who wants to follow God's leading and bring Him glory, but gets tripped up daily by her own character flaws as well as her response to her children's character flaws and after some weeping and praying gets back up and tries not to trip over the same things again.
So, for those of you who have started school and are having a rough time of it, we have all been there. Character training takes years, and just so you know my children are often sitting down at the table eating breakfast in their PJ's when I come up to get school started, and some of the teenagers have not even gotten out of bed yet. I have a couple of children who do not like school at all, one who is disruptive nearly every day and a dog who always seems to need a walk in the middle of history. My kids routinely seem to disappear into the bathroom while I am in the middle of reading aloud, or get up for a snack (which makes everyone else hungry for a snack too). I have children who cry (even when I am calmly explaining something) and some days I make the children cry by the things I say or do. But I love that my children are growing up at home, that we are learning together, that God is using the character flaws in our family to make all of us better people, and that there are good days and brief moments that make it all worth it. Our family (and our character) grows stronger little by little, not in one day of homeschooling.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Don't Forget the Little People
It was hard for me to figure out what to blog about today. I have a list of things I would like to blog about (as I'm sure most bloggers do), but I had one of those days where I was behind the eight ball most of the day. I was running late, messed up dinner, got cranky with my kids, etc. Those kind of days make me feel like not blogging, because what possible advice could I offer other homeschool moms, except maybe what not to do.
However, the day didn't start off badly. I joined some other homeschool moms for breakfast. This summer we decided that it would be fun to do a mom's breakfast every couple weeks. We do a potluck type breakfast, and kids are welcome. For the moms who don't have the room for a lot of people we meet at a park and bring breakfast there.
Most of the moms there today had younger children (younger elementary, preschool, toddlers and babies). It reminded me of when I was in that stage of my homeschool journey and how much I needed the support of other moms, especially "veteran" homeschool moms. It was so hard to make connections and feel like I was doing the right thing when I didn't know anyone else who was homeschooling.
I think about this topic off and on since I help lead a support group. I plan activities and field trips, but since my kids are older I don't always have activities that include the younger moms. I don't leave them out on purpose, we just aren't always doing things the younger kids can do. It can be a challenge to plan an activity that my older kids can't (or don't want to attend). For instance my teens aren't excited about going to a Play Place.
So, I do my best to try and encourage these moms, and stay in touch with them, since I remember how much I needed someone to say, "You can keep doing this." But I wanted to encourage other moms to do that too. Don't forget the little people, the moms who are just starting out and need encouragement and connections. Even if our kids aren't the same age I know it gives other homeschool moms comfort knowing that if they show up at an activity they will know somebody.
Some of the ways we can help these moms is to help them get plugged in. If we know two moms with kids the same age, or two moms who have only children we can introduce them and try and help them connect. We can send emails or make a phone call to see how they are doing, how homeschool is going. We can tell them the things we did to make connections, to help our kids find friends, etc.
We had a mom leave our group recently. She was having a hard time finding other moms with younger kids to connect with. After she left we had an influx of moms with younger kids. So, I sent her an email and let her know there were some younger moms and that I hadn't forgotten about her, etc. She told me that she had found another group and made some connections, but she said something else that stuck with me. She said that if she had still been seeking to connect with others my email would have been a lifeline to her, and she appreciated that I was concerned for her well-being.
It made me think, "Am I being a lifeline to the moms who are newer to this? Am I being a lifeline to the moms who just moved here and are trying to find connections for their kids again?" I wanted to put this out in the blogosphere to encourage other moms to do this too. Homeschooling is a LONG journey (as is motherhood in general), and we all start it at different stages. Some of us start at the very beginning and some pull their kids out in elementary, or Jr. High. We may think we don't have anything to offer, but sometimes being a listening ear is all that another mom needs. Someone to say, "That sounds tough," or "I'm sorry you had to deal with that." I read recently that women process our feelings by talking, and that our husband's brains are actually not capable of dealing with the amount of words that we speak in a day, nor the amount of emotion that we sometimes throw at them. I'm not offering this as an excuse, just an interesting observation that sometimes our husbands physically cannot process these things as fast as we can. If we give them too much they stop listening because they have to. This is a good reminder to be concise, but what it really made me realize is that we need other women to process our feelings to, or a prayer journal or a blog. Maybe we can be that for other homeschool moms as well.
So, this week I am going to try to reach out and be a lifeline (or at least a sounding board) for one mom. I hope that you will consider doing that as well.
However, the day didn't start off badly. I joined some other homeschool moms for breakfast. This summer we decided that it would be fun to do a mom's breakfast every couple weeks. We do a potluck type breakfast, and kids are welcome. For the moms who don't have the room for a lot of people we meet at a park and bring breakfast there.
Most of the moms there today had younger children (younger elementary, preschool, toddlers and babies). It reminded me of when I was in that stage of my homeschool journey and how much I needed the support of other moms, especially "veteran" homeschool moms. It was so hard to make connections and feel like I was doing the right thing when I didn't know anyone else who was homeschooling.
I think about this topic off and on since I help lead a support group. I plan activities and field trips, but since my kids are older I don't always have activities that include the younger moms. I don't leave them out on purpose, we just aren't always doing things the younger kids can do. It can be a challenge to plan an activity that my older kids can't (or don't want to attend). For instance my teens aren't excited about going to a Play Place.
So, I do my best to try and encourage these moms, and stay in touch with them, since I remember how much I needed someone to say, "You can keep doing this." But I wanted to encourage other moms to do that too. Don't forget the little people, the moms who are just starting out and need encouragement and connections. Even if our kids aren't the same age I know it gives other homeschool moms comfort knowing that if they show up at an activity they will know somebody.
Some of the ways we can help these moms is to help them get plugged in. If we know two moms with kids the same age, or two moms who have only children we can introduce them and try and help them connect. We can send emails or make a phone call to see how they are doing, how homeschool is going. We can tell them the things we did to make connections, to help our kids find friends, etc.
We had a mom leave our group recently. She was having a hard time finding other moms with younger kids to connect with. After she left we had an influx of moms with younger kids. So, I sent her an email and let her know there were some younger moms and that I hadn't forgotten about her, etc. She told me that she had found another group and made some connections, but she said something else that stuck with me. She said that if she had still been seeking to connect with others my email would have been a lifeline to her, and she appreciated that I was concerned for her well-being.
It made me think, "Am I being a lifeline to the moms who are newer to this? Am I being a lifeline to the moms who just moved here and are trying to find connections for their kids again?" I wanted to put this out in the blogosphere to encourage other moms to do this too. Homeschooling is a LONG journey (as is motherhood in general), and we all start it at different stages. Some of us start at the very beginning and some pull their kids out in elementary, or Jr. High. We may think we don't have anything to offer, but sometimes being a listening ear is all that another mom needs. Someone to say, "That sounds tough," or "I'm sorry you had to deal with that." I read recently that women process our feelings by talking, and that our husband's brains are actually not capable of dealing with the amount of words that we speak in a day, nor the amount of emotion that we sometimes throw at them. I'm not offering this as an excuse, just an interesting observation that sometimes our husbands physically cannot process these things as fast as we can. If we give them too much they stop listening because they have to. This is a good reminder to be concise, but what it really made me realize is that we need other women to process our feelings to, or a prayer journal or a blog. Maybe we can be that for other homeschool moms as well.
So, this week I am going to try to reach out and be a lifeline (or at least a sounding board) for one mom. I hope that you will consider doing that as well.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
The lazy days of summer?
To be honest summer is my least favorite season. For one thing I am not much for the heat. I remember as a teenager I used to love taking naps outside in my swimsuit, but now the thought of that makes me ill (and not just because the thought of putting on a swimsuit is slightly tainted by the fact that I've had 6 kids),but because being in the sun too much makes me feel sick and gives me headaches.
Anyway, while summer was once a time to sit and enjoy reading books and having fun in the sun I now look forward to it for all I can get accomplished. Sometimes I wish that I could have a summer where I didn't have to do much, but honestly that makes me a little cranky thinking of all the things that would never get done.
I love homeschooling because of the flexibility it creates, and we do have a little bit of school over the summer...a few hours here and there to catch up on stuff and to make sure we don't forget anything. For the most part though I take as much time off as I can simply because I need it. I know once school starts (and all the activities that go with it like Awana for example) the time I have to get things done shrinks to about 30-45 minutes a day. I would like to say an hour, but if you count all the interruptions from various children I am sure that takes at least 15 minutes off the clock, even if I was working on the same thing for an hour. This is true even if I hide in the bathroom (also known as the teacher's lounge), because my children always know when I am in there.
And honestly, even though I know it shouldn't be the case I am just crankier when school is in session for the simple fact that there is less time for me and more time spent helping other people (mainly the tribe that lives here), sometimes more time than I would like to spend. I think that sacrifice is necessary for my growth, but I can espouse on that some other time. I am a nicer person in the summer. I would like to be that same nice person year round even when I have more responsibilities, but I am a work in progress.
What I am looking forward to most this summer is getting a few things done. Some of these things have been on my to-do list since January, but I am hoping this summer I can accomplish at least a few. So, here is my list of what I hope to be doing during these "lazy" summer days.
Anyway, while summer was once a time to sit and enjoy reading books and having fun in the sun I now look forward to it for all I can get accomplished. Sometimes I wish that I could have a summer where I didn't have to do much, but honestly that makes me a little cranky thinking of all the things that would never get done.
I love homeschooling because of the flexibility it creates, and we do have a little bit of school over the summer...a few hours here and there to catch up on stuff and to make sure we don't forget anything. For the most part though I take as much time off as I can simply because I need it. I know once school starts (and all the activities that go with it like Awana for example) the time I have to get things done shrinks to about 30-45 minutes a day. I would like to say an hour, but if you count all the interruptions from various children I am sure that takes at least 15 minutes off the clock, even if I was working on the same thing for an hour. This is true even if I hide in the bathroom (also known as the teacher's lounge), because my children always know when I am in there.
And honestly, even though I know it shouldn't be the case I am just crankier when school is in session for the simple fact that there is less time for me and more time spent helping other people (mainly the tribe that lives here), sometimes more time than I would like to spend. I think that sacrifice is necessary for my growth, but I can espouse on that some other time. I am a nicer person in the summer. I would like to be that same nice person year round even when I have more responsibilities, but I am a work in progress.
What I am looking forward to most this summer is getting a few things done. Some of these things have been on my to-do list since January, but I am hoping this summer I can accomplish at least a few. So, here is my list of what I hope to be doing during these "lazy" summer days.
- deep cleaning (actually this one is fairly easy since I already did some this spring--I have one kids room left)
- scrapbooks--honestly I would love to get all caught up, but my goal for the summer is to catch up just 1 year (I am 3 years behind)
- learn to crochet---I did try this in the Spring, but I could not figure it out. It may not be for me, but I am sure hopeful that with my daughter's help I can actually make something. I have my eye on a project I would like to attempt, so we'll see.
- "spruce up" my blog--there are some changes I would like to make here as well, but I certainly need some uninterrupted time to work on that.
- work on my family tree---For Christmas I gave my dad a family tree that goes back 5 generations. I started doing the research for him, but as it turns out I really enjoy it. There were some holes that I couldn't find information for and I would like to have time to get some of that figured out.
- I have a stack of 5 or 6 books that have been waiting for me, and a list of even more that I would love to read...so I will be doing at least a little reading. I have been trying to read while on the treadmill, but that makes me a bit dizzy.
- Be nice to my neighbor---I am sure this sounds funny, but I found out today that my neighbor thinks I don't like her. Apparently she has said hi to me a few times and I didn't respond. I would not have ignored her on purpose, so I am either deaf or just relieved to be outside without any children bothering me. So, I am praying for ways to show her that she is important to me.
- Do a puzzle. Oh, I love puzzles, but when they are out I can't do anything else, so I don't get them out during the school year. If I get enough of my goals accomplished maybe I can do more than one puzzle, or maybe I will do several and just leave a few of my goals unfinished, after all they have been waiting for several months already.
- Finishing my son's blanket---I would like to finish cross-stitching a blanket that I started for my son several years ago. He is almost 8 by the way, but insists that he would still like to have it, so I am going to try and finish it...sometime...in the not too distant future.
- I found some great systems that work for me around here, but there are a couple areas of my life that I would like to be a bit better organized, so I am going to try and figure out how to put that onto paper. For one thing the number of library books that come home with us and then don't get returned on time bothers me. I have some checked out, my kids have some checked out...I think I will blog about this one day and perhaps come up with a great solution for next year. I also need to supplement my calendar system...still thinking about that.
- Be thriftier...I have some tips I would like to try and see if they do help around here. Problem is they involve trips to the store and money (although they should save me money in the end).
- Unfinished projects. There are several small things around here that could be accomplished with just a few hours over here, or a couple phone calls (trips to the vet, getting the ducts cleaned, finishing a craft project that's more than halfway done). It would feel great if I could finish these up--or just even one or two.
Monday, May 30, 2011
Homeschool Mother's Journal 5/30/11
In my life this week: Not much school and a couple of fun days. Had some personal breakthroughs though about my marriage. Have been reading a great book and it reminded me that marriage is what I make it. Not like my husband doesn't have his own responsibility, but it was a good reminder that what you put into something is usually what you get out of it.
Places we're going and people we're seeing: Field trip to the Insect Museum and Butterfly Pavilion. Free day at the outdoor pool (and only 1 out of 6 kids got sunburned). And a graduation party for my best friend's son, always encouraging to be around some homeschool moms who have graduated a child.
My favorite thing this week was: Honestly, we didn't do much school this week and my favorite thing was having some free time to do some of the things I wanted to do. For example, I found the headstone of my great-aunt Margarett who died as a baby. This was my Grandpa's oldest sister who died before he was born.
What's working for us: One of my son's has quite a temper issue, and we have been trying a new technique where he journals/asks himself questions about what he responded so angrily. This is actually helping him see that sometimes his response is not warranted and he is doing much better.
Homeschool questions I have: I am trying to figure out if next year I should have my 8th grade twins do biology with my sophomore age son, or if I should have them do it in 9th grade and my oldest in 11th. My best friend offered to do biology with us so that I don't have to buy a microscope, but one of my twins has a learning disorder, and so I am wondering if it would be too much pressure for him to do it in a group.
Photo to share: At our field trip to The Butterfly Pavilion everyone in our family had a butterfly land on them. I didn't get pictures of everyone, but this is a picture of one of my sons with a butterfly. 
Friday, May 27, 2011
The award we can't show off
As the school year winds down we homeschool moms like to look back and evaluate our accomplishments. We want to think about what worked and what didn't. What can we be proud of and what did we really mess up?
Our homeschool support group has a family meeting every month and this month we put on a homeschool showcase night where everyone could come show off some things that they had done this year. Surprisingly we had a pretty low turn out, but I think I know why.
One of the most difficult things about being a homeschool mom is feeling like you don't measure up. We read all the statistics about how homeschoolers have greater academic success than other schooled students, etc. and we feel the pressure because for some of us our kids aren't there, or anywhere close. Some of us have children with learning disorders and our celebration is that our child actually read a whole book by himself this year and he's in middle school (not that we'd share that with others because it might embarrass him [or me]). Some of us finally tackled a huge character issue in our kids or were confronted with another that we thought we handled pretty well (but again some things you can't share with others because it would embarrass your child). Some things we don't share because we don't want other homeschool families to know that we aren't perfect. I know that sounds ridiculous, but it's true and we know it. We shudder to think what some homeschool families might think if they knew some of the issues we were having with our kids. After all we're supposed to be set apart and different from those public school kids right? The truth is our children are still sinners and our enemy is very crafty. Homeschooling doesn't guarantee that our children (even as much as we shelter them) won't fall into sin, even sins we think our kids are immune to. Our response to those situations is what sets us apart.
And that's where I sit at the end of this school year. For our showcase I did manage to gather up some awards that my kids had accomplished this year, and a couple art projects. In reality though we didn't do a lot of hands on projects or cool history notebooks that we do some years. I wanted my children to feel like they had something to celebrate, but in reality it didn't seem like we had much to show for this year.
Quite honestly the last 5 months have been a time of testing and trials in our home. This Spring I felt like I had been put through the ringer and some days I was so discouraged that it took all I had to get up every morning and homeschool my children because I knew it was the right thing to do, not because I necessarily wanted to do it. I skipped over a lot of the cool hands-on projects we usually do because I just didn't want to expend the effort.
Do I feel like my children are worse off for having this kind of Spring? No, honestly I don't. I realized today that we did have something to showcase, but it's not something that everyone can see. We persevered this year, something that the Bible talks about a lot. A character trait certainly worth having. Even though most of the trials were aimed at me I know my children felt them too. You can tell when your parents are struggling, so my kids get a perseverance award too for putting up with a mother who was just trying to hold it all together for a while. And I am celebrating that I didn't quit, that I am stronger than I thought I was, that my God is an ever present help in times of trouble. I don't remember a lot of what we learned this year, and who knows where the kids would even test, but I am so proud of us. Proud that we are still a homeschool family and that we got through this together. I know we homeschoolers say it a lot, but the truth is whatever my kids learned academically this year is nothing compared to how they grew in their character. I know sometimes we homeschoolers throw that out there so much it sounds like a cliche, but there are some years that it holds more truth than others. I am sure that some of you can relate and have had a year where all you really have to display is perseverance (or some other character trait).
Our homeschool support group has a family meeting every month and this month we put on a homeschool showcase night where everyone could come show off some things that they had done this year. Surprisingly we had a pretty low turn out, but I think I know why.
One of the most difficult things about being a homeschool mom is feeling like you don't measure up. We read all the statistics about how homeschoolers have greater academic success than other schooled students, etc. and we feel the pressure because for some of us our kids aren't there, or anywhere close. Some of us have children with learning disorders and our celebration is that our child actually read a whole book by himself this year and he's in middle school (not that we'd share that with others because it might embarrass him [or me]). Some of us finally tackled a huge character issue in our kids or were confronted with another that we thought we handled pretty well (but again some things you can't share with others because it would embarrass your child). Some things we don't share because we don't want other homeschool families to know that we aren't perfect. I know that sounds ridiculous, but it's true and we know it. We shudder to think what some homeschool families might think if they knew some of the issues we were having with our kids. After all we're supposed to be set apart and different from those public school kids right? The truth is our children are still sinners and our enemy is very crafty. Homeschooling doesn't guarantee that our children (even as much as we shelter them) won't fall into sin, even sins we think our kids are immune to. Our response to those situations is what sets us apart.
And that's where I sit at the end of this school year. For our showcase I did manage to gather up some awards that my kids had accomplished this year, and a couple art projects. In reality though we didn't do a lot of hands on projects or cool history notebooks that we do some years. I wanted my children to feel like they had something to celebrate, but in reality it didn't seem like we had much to show for this year.
Quite honestly the last 5 months have been a time of testing and trials in our home. This Spring I felt like I had been put through the ringer and some days I was so discouraged that it took all I had to get up every morning and homeschool my children because I knew it was the right thing to do, not because I necessarily wanted to do it. I skipped over a lot of the cool hands-on projects we usually do because I just didn't want to expend the effort.
Do I feel like my children are worse off for having this kind of Spring? No, honestly I don't. I realized today that we did have something to showcase, but it's not something that everyone can see. We persevered this year, something that the Bible talks about a lot. A character trait certainly worth having. Even though most of the trials were aimed at me I know my children felt them too. You can tell when your parents are struggling, so my kids get a perseverance award too for putting up with a mother who was just trying to hold it all together for a while. And I am celebrating that I didn't quit, that I am stronger than I thought I was, that my God is an ever present help in times of trouble. I don't remember a lot of what we learned this year, and who knows where the kids would even test, but I am so proud of us. Proud that we are still a homeschool family and that we got through this together. I know we homeschoolers say it a lot, but the truth is whatever my kids learned academically this year is nothing compared to how they grew in their character. I know sometimes we homeschoolers throw that out there so much it sounds like a cliche, but there are some years that it holds more truth than others. I am sure that some of you can relate and have had a year where all you really have to display is perseverance (or some other character trait).
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
The Miracle Worker...
We had an interesting experience this weekend. I was hoping to share it in The Homeschool Mother's Journal, but because of graduation celebrations we attended this weekend I didn't have time to blog and link up there in time. However, this experience is worth a blog post all it's own, just for the sheer unlikelihood of this ever happening again.
Friday night it just so happened that all 6 of our children were gone at the same time. Now, this does happen, but only when I plan it. Friday night it happened by coincidence. You might think this is the miracle that I address in the title, but it's not.
I was gone about 30 minutes dropping everyone off at the places they needed to be. I was waiting for my husband to get home so that we could go for a quick dinner before we had to start picking everyone up. While I was waiting I went to put something away in my daughter's room. I was admiring how clean it was (this is a mini-miracle...we require her room to be cleaned and vacuumed once a week, so it is usually clean for a few hours on Thursday). It was Friday and my daughter's room was still clean. She had moved some of her knick-knacks around and I was trying to figure out where she had moved her fish to. Her beta fish lives in a small tank on her dresser. I couldn't seem to find him anywhere when I noticed that the tank was laying on the floor. The cat tends to drink from the tank, so I thought perhaps she had knocked it over. I am dreading telling my daughter that something happened to her fish and wondering how long it's going to take me to find the fish in her room. (We lost one of my son's toads once and it took us several days to find him---yuck!).
To my amazement this is what I found
In the bottom of my daughter's clothes hamper is a small amount of water and her beta fish (the white square is the top of the fish's broken tank). The miracle here is that my daughter had no dirty clothes, they were all in the wash, and that she had put her hamper back where it goes. Any other day or week the poor fish would have been toast.
There were a couple lessons here. For one the fact that she had put everything in it's place saved the fish's life. For another had she closed her door the tank never would have been knocked over. But really the whole incident is a fluke, and had it happened any other time the outcome would have been very different.
So, we call it a miracle here. The fish got a second life (and a new bowl), and my daughter got the gracious gift of not losing something special to her (even if it is just a fish). It reminded me that God often orchestrates such small events as a reminder that He is in control of this universe. I certainly think that there are many other important things He is doing with His time, but I also believe He wants us to know that the little details of our lives matter to Him. Every little prayer He answers is just more proof that He is capable of doing what we ask (and some things that we don't). He doesn't have to answer our prayers and He doesn't have to prove His faithfulness, but He does.
Honestly it makes me think of the verses in Matthew 6 that talk about how the birds of the air neither sow nor reap and yet our heavenly Father feeds them. This week we are thankful that He chose to protect something as small as my daughter's fish.
Normally that would be the end of the post, but being a cat lover I want to make sure that I end with a proclamation of the cat's innocence. As it turns out the dog put his big old paws up on the dresser to get to the small container of fish food and knocked the fish tank over. He then ate all the fish food (as well as spilled it into a laundry basket of clean clothes) and in typical dog fashion looked guilty and immediately wanted to be let outside when I came home. Now mind you he looked guilty before I even discovered the fish, but he did have the decency to look guilty, thus ensuring that we couldn't stay mad at him. However, we have decided to put the fish food in a safer place.
Friday night it just so happened that all 6 of our children were gone at the same time. Now, this does happen, but only when I plan it. Friday night it happened by coincidence. You might think this is the miracle that I address in the title, but it's not.
I was gone about 30 minutes dropping everyone off at the places they needed to be. I was waiting for my husband to get home so that we could go for a quick dinner before we had to start picking everyone up. While I was waiting I went to put something away in my daughter's room. I was admiring how clean it was (this is a mini-miracle...we require her room to be cleaned and vacuumed once a week, so it is usually clean for a few hours on Thursday). It was Friday and my daughter's room was still clean. She had moved some of her knick-knacks around and I was trying to figure out where she had moved her fish to. Her beta fish lives in a small tank on her dresser. I couldn't seem to find him anywhere when I noticed that the tank was laying on the floor. The cat tends to drink from the tank, so I thought perhaps she had knocked it over. I am dreading telling my daughter that something happened to her fish and wondering how long it's going to take me to find the fish in her room. (We lost one of my son's toads once and it took us several days to find him---yuck!).
To my amazement this is what I found
There were a couple lessons here. For one the fact that she had put everything in it's place saved the fish's life. For another had she closed her door the tank never would have been knocked over. But really the whole incident is a fluke, and had it happened any other time the outcome would have been very different.
So, we call it a miracle here. The fish got a second life (and a new bowl), and my daughter got the gracious gift of not losing something special to her (even if it is just a fish). It reminded me that God often orchestrates such small events as a reminder that He is in control of this universe. I certainly think that there are many other important things He is doing with His time, but I also believe He wants us to know that the little details of our lives matter to Him. Every little prayer He answers is just more proof that He is capable of doing what we ask (and some things that we don't). He doesn't have to answer our prayers and He doesn't have to prove His faithfulness, but He does.
Honestly it makes me think of the verses in Matthew 6 that talk about how the birds of the air neither sow nor reap and yet our heavenly Father feeds them. This week we are thankful that He chose to protect something as small as my daughter's fish.
Normally that would be the end of the post, but being a cat lover I want to make sure that I end with a proclamation of the cat's innocence. As it turns out the dog put his big old paws up on the dresser to get to the small container of fish food and knocked the fish tank over. He then ate all the fish food (as well as spilled it into a laundry basket of clean clothes) and in typical dog fashion looked guilty and immediately wanted to be let outside when I came home. Now mind you he looked guilty before I even discovered the fish, but he did have the decency to look guilty, thus ensuring that we couldn't stay mad at him. However, we have decided to put the fish food in a safer place.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
10 Ideas for Finding Free Field Trips
One of my favorite things about homeschooling is field trips. I think that has something to do with the fact that I have 5 boys. There are only so many days that I can read over boys shuffling through Legos or wrestling with each other. Plus I have a very energetic child who does not enjoy school, but he learns a lot on field trips. We have been to many exhibits and museums that are well worth the cost that we pay to visit, but with 6 kids a field trip isn't always in the budget.
So here are some of the great things that we have done for free. It's certainly not an exhaustive list, but hopefully it will give you some ideas whether you are planning a field trip for a group or just an outing for your family. For those who live in Colorado I have included actual places in parentheses, you should be able to google the company for more info.
So here are some of the great things that we have done for free. It's certainly not an exhaustive list, but hopefully it will give you some ideas whether you are planning a field trip for a group or just an outing for your family. For those who live in Colorado I have included actual places in parentheses, you should be able to google the company for more info.
- Greenhouse---most states have a local greenhouse they get their flowers from. Many of these greenhouses, or even some of the smaller garden shops are willing to set up a tour for your group. (Welby Gardens)
- Post office---not all post offices will give a tour, but most post offices know of a local one that will do tours. There is also a General Mail Facility in every state that offers tours (usually for age 10 and up)
- Factories---many factories will not give tours to children due to safety guidelines. However, there are usually a couple of exceptions to this. The best way to find out? Call around and ask. (Hammond's Candies, Celestial Seasonings)
- Small businesses or stores--sometimes a small ice cream shop or other storefront business will give a tour to a small group. Great Harvest Bread has many locations all over the United States and most of them offer tours where you can come and see them make some bread. A very yummy field trip. I once called our local Ben & Jerry's and they were willing to have a small group come, but I dropped the ball and we never went.
- US Mint---unfortunately this will only apply to those of you who live in Denver or Philadelphia, but you can also take a free online tour. Still if you are able to stop by the mint sometime, I would recommend it.
- Hikes or nature walks are free and a great way to get together with other homeschool families without a lot of pressure. Your kids can bring a nature journal or you can just hike around and enjoy the great outdoors.
- Animal shelters and pet stores--I am not sure about Petsmart, but I have heard that Petco will sometimes offer tours. Our local animal shelter offers classes (on wildlife or how to meet a dog for example) and a shelter tour for free (they do encourage non-monetary donations for the shelter such as toys, stuffed animals, etc). The risk of this field trip is coming home with a new friend.
- Free museums---we have several local museums here that are free. We have a historical museum that offers replicas of farms from the 1860's and 1890's as well as a free geology museum (which is tied to the Colorado School of Mines). Museums paid for by a city or University may often be a good free choice (Littleton Historical Museum, Colorado School of Mines Geology Museum)
- Art Galleries/Theaters---It may be an anomaly, but close to us there is a cultural center that puts on plays. The plays are not free, but the center also has an art gallery, a small exhibit hall and a sculpture garden where the kids can climb on Squiggles the dragon. Check cultural centers in your area, most of them charge for special exhibits and theater performances, but many have small galleries or exhibits that are open to the public.
- Newspapers/TV stations--many local TV stations do not charge for field trips, but most of them require students to be at least 10 (sometimes 12). It can also be hard to find a person to contact to get information about field trips, but worth the effort if you manage to get a hold of someone.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Homeschool Mother's Journal--5/15/11
In my life this week...
I must admit that my Mother's Day wasn't much of a treat this year. One of my teenage boys did make me some eggs, but my 3 oldest boys (ages 14, 13, 13) had to be at church early. With gas prices what they are there is no good reason to drive separate, which means getting everyone ready a little early. So, my son Max brought the eggs down while I was putting on my make-up and even though there were a bit runny (did I mention we were in a hurry?) I was eating them...until the dog chased the cat who jumped up on the dresser and stepped in my plate of eggs. So, I fed the rest to the dog (which may have been his plan all along). Our Sunday school class had some nice snacks set out though. Normally I plant flowers on Mother's Day, but since my husband (who is self-employed) is not working much I didn't do that this week. That was a bit discouraging for me, but I am trying to enjoy the flowers that I already have and there are some of those.
In our homeschool this week...
The National Piano Teachers Guild Competition, which my oldest participated in. He memorized and played 8 pieces for a judge. My other 6 kids are involved in a variety of activities, but at this point only my oldest son (14) plays piano. Otherwise we are trying to wrap up school and figure out what we need to work on over the summer and what I think we have covered enough of. Normally I stop art this time of year, but we are actually almost done with the book, so I have decided to go ahead and finish.
Places we're going and People we're seeing...
Besides the piano competition the only people we saw this week was the dentist. I only took in a couple who needed to get cavities fixed , so I got to sit and read while they were back in the dentist office...a rare treat for sure. The only downside was that it had rained/snowed the night before. I had checked before I went to bed and it looked as though all my windows were up, but the driver's side was open just a crack. So, I had to drive to the dentist office on a wet seat (even with a towel over it) and sit in the dentist's office with a half-wet bottom.
My favorite thing this week...
My lilac bush smells delicious, and I am trying to savor that since I know it will not last too much longer. I actually have enough this year that I was able to bring a few sprigs in the house. My other favorite thing was today....I am fighting a head cold (not my favorite part by the way). Three of our older boys went home with a friend after a puppet ministry luncheon at church. Our daughter brought a friend home. My husband took the 4 kids at our house to the park for 2 hours so that I could nap. that sure makes up for a not so pampered Mother's Day.
What's not working for us....
As mentioned in my post on Friday the math curriculum I am using for the older boys is working for 2 of them, but not the third. So, I am starting to pray about what to do next year.
Homeschool questions/thoughts I have....
As I get ready to sort through my curriculum for the year I am trying to decide what to do with it. I have several books I have been trying to sell the last couple months that are just not selling. Today I found out about a place that donates books to homeschoolers who need, but can't afford curriculum. They do this by having people send in books they are not using any longer. I am thinking that even though I could use the money to put towards our curriculum, God is telling me to donate the things that are not selling. I will include the link to the website in case any of you have items you would like to donate or if you are in need of curriculum for this year.
www.thebooksamaritan.com
A video to share....
My three oldest boys participate in the puppet ministry at our church. Today they had a recognition luncheon and the kids did a puppet show for us. It was very encouraging to me as I realized today what a gift this ministry has been to my boys. Besides learning to be a puppeteer they also must learn to write skits, choreograph skits, do voices for each character, and also tell Bible stories to the kids (without a puppet), among other things. I am checking with the head of the puppet ministry to see if the skits they did today are copyrighted before I post the videos. So, check back and hopefully I will have one posted in the next day or so. If not then I'll just post a picture of my 3 oldest boys...the 3 puppeteers.
Friday, May 13, 2011
The Math Hurdle
As a homeschool mom one of my biggest challenges is teaching math, especially to older kids. I understand it, but I cannot explain it very well. It just makes sense in my head, but I can't always tell the kids why it makes sense.
Most of the time this causes no dilemmas as I can explain it using the examples from the teacher's guide. When this doesn't work I have found videos on youtube where people explain math. This was a great help to my daughter when she was stuck on 3-digit-multiplication. She could not seem to understand the concept of the placeholder that you put after the 10's (and the 100's) so that you can add them up. In regular addition you line the answers up and then add them, so she couldn't understand why you wouldn't do that here. I went to Youtube and searched for videos of 3-digit-multiplication. I am sure that I explained it exactly the same as the man in the video, but when he explained it she understood it. She claims that when I explain it my answers are too "mathy" and therefore that is why she doesn't understand them. In response to that all I can do is scratch my head.
The dilemma last year was with my 3 older sons. My oldest, who is 14, loves math, but he was hating Saxon math. He didn't like all the repetition, nor the way they explained it. In addition my twin sons who were in 7th grade were giving me headaches trying to teach math. One of my sons in particular has struggled with a learning disorder, and he is right brained, so I can't always figure out how to explain math to him. He gets frustrated when he doesn't understand, and then he yells or cries. This is turn makes me frustrated and I yell or cry. So, at the end of last year I decided that I was going to find something else. I was going to find something at the conference that I didn't have to teach, thus ending the battles between my son and I.
After some research I came across a math program called Life of Fred. It is meant for the student to read and do on their own. Each chapter contains a short story where Fred (the main character) uses math in a particular situation and explains how he did that. At the end of each chapter there are 4 or 5 problems to do. The boys do the problems and then check their answers. They are not required to get a certain amount right at that point, as the way the author got the answers is explained for them. At the end of several chapters is something called The Bridge. In this case they are required to get a certain amount right to make sure that they understand the material. In addition as the parent I can make them do all five Bridges if I would like, regardless of how many they get right.
This has been a great solution for my oldest who loves math, and is enjoying it even more. Even though the Life of Fred books don't have as many problems he enjoys trying to figure them out as some can be a challenge. The books are for higher levels of Math. There are Decimals and Percents as well as a book on Fractions and then two Pre-Algebra books and from there the books go all the way up through Calculus. Since the chapters are short you can go through the books fairly quickly. The problems are challenging so I don't make my boys do extra, but they also sell companion guides if you feel like your child needs more help. Another thing I love about the books is that the man who wrote them has his email address on his website so that you can contact him if you have questions.
This has also worked well for one of my sons in 7th grade, who hasn't had much trouble with math at all this year. However, his twin brother, Neil is still struggling with math. Our school year started off well and this approach seemed to work well for both of us, eliminating the fighting. However, Neil still struggled with the material, occasionally needing help. As we moved into the book on Decimals and Percents he struggled even more, and we ended up having to go back to me helping him with his math. At first this went fairly well, but once again we are in the cycle of Neil getting frustrated and mom getting frustrated right back.
Overall, I have loved the Life of Fred books. I think the stories are very engaging and I love that my boys are getting to do math independently without having to sit in front of a computer. However, as the school year draws to an end and I can see that Neil is still not understanding these concepts I have come to the realization that it's time to do something else for him. Since he is the one who has struggled with learning this has happened to me numerous times, and even wonderful curriculum has not always worked for Neil. My homeschool journey with him has led me into lots of interesting curriculum I might not otherwise have chosen. While not all have worked for him they have benefited my other children.
So, now this summer I will be doing more research to find another math program. I am open to suggestions from those who have children who are struggling.
Kendra
Most of the time this causes no dilemmas as I can explain it using the examples from the teacher's guide. When this doesn't work I have found videos on youtube where people explain math. This was a great help to my daughter when she was stuck on 3-digit-multiplication. She could not seem to understand the concept of the placeholder that you put after the 10's (and the 100's) so that you can add them up. In regular addition you line the answers up and then add them, so she couldn't understand why you wouldn't do that here. I went to Youtube and searched for videos of 3-digit-multiplication. I am sure that I explained it exactly the same as the man in the video, but when he explained it she understood it. She claims that when I explain it my answers are too "mathy" and therefore that is why she doesn't understand them. In response to that all I can do is scratch my head.
The dilemma last year was with my 3 older sons. My oldest, who is 14, loves math, but he was hating Saxon math. He didn't like all the repetition, nor the way they explained it. In addition my twin sons who were in 7th grade were giving me headaches trying to teach math. One of my sons in particular has struggled with a learning disorder, and he is right brained, so I can't always figure out how to explain math to him. He gets frustrated when he doesn't understand, and then he yells or cries. This is turn makes me frustrated and I yell or cry. So, at the end of last year I decided that I was going to find something else. I was going to find something at the conference that I didn't have to teach, thus ending the battles between my son and I.
After some research I came across a math program called Life of Fred. It is meant for the student to read and do on their own. Each chapter contains a short story where Fred (the main character) uses math in a particular situation and explains how he did that. At the end of each chapter there are 4 or 5 problems to do. The boys do the problems and then check their answers. They are not required to get a certain amount right at that point, as the way the author got the answers is explained for them. At the end of several chapters is something called The Bridge. In this case they are required to get a certain amount right to make sure that they understand the material. In addition as the parent I can make them do all five Bridges if I would like, regardless of how many they get right.
This has been a great solution for my oldest who loves math, and is enjoying it even more. Even though the Life of Fred books don't have as many problems he enjoys trying to figure them out as some can be a challenge. The books are for higher levels of Math. There are Decimals and Percents as well as a book on Fractions and then two Pre-Algebra books and from there the books go all the way up through Calculus. Since the chapters are short you can go through the books fairly quickly. The problems are challenging so I don't make my boys do extra, but they also sell companion guides if you feel like your child needs more help. Another thing I love about the books is that the man who wrote them has his email address on his website so that you can contact him if you have questions.
This has also worked well for one of my sons in 7th grade, who hasn't had much trouble with math at all this year. However, his twin brother, Neil is still struggling with math. Our school year started off well and this approach seemed to work well for both of us, eliminating the fighting. However, Neil still struggled with the material, occasionally needing help. As we moved into the book on Decimals and Percents he struggled even more, and we ended up having to go back to me helping him with his math. At first this went fairly well, but once again we are in the cycle of Neil getting frustrated and mom getting frustrated right back.
Overall, I have loved the Life of Fred books. I think the stories are very engaging and I love that my boys are getting to do math independently without having to sit in front of a computer. However, as the school year draws to an end and I can see that Neil is still not understanding these concepts I have come to the realization that it's time to do something else for him. Since he is the one who has struggled with learning this has happened to me numerous times, and even wonderful curriculum has not always worked for Neil. My homeschool journey with him has led me into lots of interesting curriculum I might not otherwise have chosen. While not all have worked for him they have benefited my other children.
So, now this summer I will be doing more research to find another math program. I am open to suggestions from those who have children who are struggling.
Kendra
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
The smallest things...
I was thinking today that the smallest things can make me feel accomplished (as in finally removing the dandelions from my yard before they take over). The smallest things can also bring me joy and the smallest things can really frustrate me. Piled up one on top of another the smallest things can turn into a pile of frustrations that make me want to quit. Quit homeschooling, quit staying at home, quit being a nice wife, quit being a mother, etc.
For me it has been a Spring full of one little thing (and some medium sized things) after another, some nights making me feel so broken as if I can't go on anymore. Some times those little things make me wonder how long I can keep homeschooling. Uggh...what a bad attitude, but it's the truth.
Thinking about that this morning made me remember one of my favorite quotes by John Maxwell, "Failure isn't failure if you do better next time." Last week we studied inventors and Thomas Edison said that he didn't invent the incandescent light bulb, he figured out 10,000 ways that it wouldn't work. Of course it's strange to think of homeschooling or mothering in that way, but there is truth to that. I have discovered many ways that my parenting skills or my teaching is not working. Rather than getting discouraged by that I just need to try a different way of doing it.
It's easy to say that today, but there are days that seeing those failings up close cause frustration and disappointment rather than a drive to find a better way. As a homeschool mom I feel it's an accomplishment just to get school done each day and keep my house relatively in order. The mere thought of switching curriculum or tackling a problem can make me tired just thinking about it. It seems like one more thing to add to my list.
Maybe it would help if I thought of the parenting/homeschool journey as an attempt to find the best way to make it work rather than being discouraged when it isn't working. I think one of the mistakes we make in homeschooling is trying to find a specific formula or using the best curriculum, when honestly some of those systems just don't work for our family. Yet, in spite of the fact that I know this I still some times feel like a failure when I try something for my kids and it doesn't work. I assume that I am doing something wrong. (Sometimes I am doing something wrong, but that's beside the point). I will try to keep that in mind this week if yet another little thing comes up.
For me it has been a Spring full of one little thing (and some medium sized things) after another, some nights making me feel so broken as if I can't go on anymore. Some times those little things make me wonder how long I can keep homeschooling. Uggh...what a bad attitude, but it's the truth.
Thinking about that this morning made me remember one of my favorite quotes by John Maxwell, "Failure isn't failure if you do better next time." Last week we studied inventors and Thomas Edison said that he didn't invent the incandescent light bulb, he figured out 10,000 ways that it wouldn't work. Of course it's strange to think of homeschooling or mothering in that way, but there is truth to that. I have discovered many ways that my parenting skills or my teaching is not working. Rather than getting discouraged by that I just need to try a different way of doing it.
It's easy to say that today, but there are days that seeing those failings up close cause frustration and disappointment rather than a drive to find a better way. As a homeschool mom I feel it's an accomplishment just to get school done each day and keep my house relatively in order. The mere thought of switching curriculum or tackling a problem can make me tired just thinking about it. It seems like one more thing to add to my list.
Maybe it would help if I thought of the parenting/homeschool journey as an attempt to find the best way to make it work rather than being discouraged when it isn't working. I think one of the mistakes we make in homeschooling is trying to find a specific formula or using the best curriculum, when honestly some of those systems just don't work for our family. Yet, in spite of the fact that I know this I still some times feel like a failure when I try something for my kids and it doesn't work. I assume that I am doing something wrong. (Sometimes I am doing something wrong, but that's beside the point). I will try to keep that in mind this week if yet another little thing comes up.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Seeds, seeds, seeds....
I am sure that seeds are a common theme this time of year because everyone has been planting seeds in their garden. I have been thinking about seeds because I have some very small wildflower seedlings coming up. Of course seeing the little seedlings has reminded me of the seeds I am planting in my kids lives and how one day they will be an actual "flower".
Since I have several teenagers I am actually at the point where I see some of the seeds I have planted in my children's lives, both the flowers and the weeds. So I keep watering their flowers and try to encourage them to pull some weeds out of their lives.
What can be really discouraging to me at times is the youngest child that I am still working on. While I see the amazing things going on in the lives of my teenagers, having a younger child can be a constant reminder of how much time I have left in my homeschool journey. Some days I am thankful for the years that are left, but since my youngest child is my biggest challenge there are days that I wonder if he and I will survive the homeschool journey. My youngest, Troy, has quite an engaging personality. This is another way of saying that he is the class clown in our family. While I am sure that the Lord has many uses for his gifts, right now he causes a lot of disruptions during school and once he has managed to get school done he can be loud and rambunctious while everyone else tries to finish.
Anyway, some days it seems to me like Troy will never learn anything, but some days he surprises me. Yesterday was one of those days when I got to see a glimpse of perhaps a small seedling growing in his heart. Yesterday morning during history we were studying some inventors and this led into a discussion of some of the science that inventors have to know. Talking about Alexander Graham Bell we talked about how his knowledge of sound waves and the density of air is part of what helped him realize that voices might be able to travel through an electric current.
After we finished up for lunch Troy found some test tubes that his brother uses for science and asked if he could play with them. I really didn't think this was a good idea, but since I had a few things to get done I thought it might keep him quiet for a few minutes. Imagine my surprise when my son played with those things for almost an hour. He filled them with water and then he was in the kitchen pretending to teach a science class and talking about the density of air molecules of all things. He didn't have all his facts right, but it was a surprise to me that he would even pretend such a thing. Troy is full of so much energy that I never thought that I would see him with even a small interest in science. I don't think his personality is geared to that, but it was nice to see that somewhere underneath my son's effervescence is a serious side that is actually listening to some of the things I say, and that might be just enough encouragement to get me through the next few weeks of teaching before summer break.
Since I have several teenagers I am actually at the point where I see some of the seeds I have planted in my children's lives, both the flowers and the weeds. So I keep watering their flowers and try to encourage them to pull some weeds out of their lives.
What can be really discouraging to me at times is the youngest child that I am still working on. While I see the amazing things going on in the lives of my teenagers, having a younger child can be a constant reminder of how much time I have left in my homeschool journey. Some days I am thankful for the years that are left, but since my youngest child is my biggest challenge there are days that I wonder if he and I will survive the homeschool journey. My youngest, Troy, has quite an engaging personality. This is another way of saying that he is the class clown in our family. While I am sure that the Lord has many uses for his gifts, right now he causes a lot of disruptions during school and once he has managed to get school done he can be loud and rambunctious while everyone else tries to finish.
Anyway, some days it seems to me like Troy will never learn anything, but some days he surprises me. Yesterday was one of those days when I got to see a glimpse of perhaps a small seedling growing in his heart. Yesterday morning during history we were studying some inventors and this led into a discussion of some of the science that inventors have to know. Talking about Alexander Graham Bell we talked about how his knowledge of sound waves and the density of air is part of what helped him realize that voices might be able to travel through an electric current.
After we finished up for lunch Troy found some test tubes that his brother uses for science and asked if he could play with them. I really didn't think this was a good idea, but since I had a few things to get done I thought it might keep him quiet for a few minutes. Imagine my surprise when my son played with those things for almost an hour. He filled them with water and then he was in the kitchen pretending to teach a science class and talking about the density of air molecules of all things. He didn't have all his facts right, but it was a surprise to me that he would even pretend such a thing. Troy is full of so much energy that I never thought that I would see him with even a small interest in science. I don't think his personality is geared to that, but it was nice to see that somewhere underneath my son's effervescence is a serious side that is actually listening to some of the things I say, and that might be just enough encouragement to get me through the next few weeks of teaching before summer break.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Worth it in the End
Today is the most glorious of Sundays because it's the day that we celebrate the Resurrection of our Savior.
Since I sing in the choir at my church this means getting up at 4:45 so that I can be there for the sunrise service, and singing in all 4 services. I don't love mornings anyway, but I don't sleep well when I know I'm getting up early because I am afraid that I will oversleep. This can make for a really long Sunday, so I drag my feet a little bit on Easter Sunday morning.
Having done this for several years now though I know that it's worth it. Being in the choir loft at our church I have one of the best views. There are four small windows that overlook one of the foothills that our church is at the base of. There is no feeling more incredible than singing about our risen Savior as the sun comes up. Knowing that I have that sunrise to look forward to is what gets me out of bed, even if I drag my feet a little.
I think homeschooling is the same way. We believe that it will be worth it in the end, but some days we just aren't motivated to do it. Some days we drag our feet but still get out of bed and do it. We can keep our motivation up by remembering those incredible feelings we've had. Even if we've only been homeschooling for a short time there are little successes to celebrate. If you need something to keep you getting out of bed this time of year find a homeschool mom farther along on the journey than you. Someone who can share some of the joys of homeschooling, who can give you encouragement to overcome those "hurdles" that you are facing.
So today keep in mind the bigger picture, not just the goals we have for our children and the rewards of homeschooling, but the incredible hope that we share because of our risen Savior.
Since I sing in the choir at my church this means getting up at 4:45 so that I can be there for the sunrise service, and singing in all 4 services. I don't love mornings anyway, but I don't sleep well when I know I'm getting up early because I am afraid that I will oversleep. This can make for a really long Sunday, so I drag my feet a little bit on Easter Sunday morning.
Having done this for several years now though I know that it's worth it. Being in the choir loft at our church I have one of the best views. There are four small windows that overlook one of the foothills that our church is at the base of. There is no feeling more incredible than singing about our risen Savior as the sun comes up. Knowing that I have that sunrise to look forward to is what gets me out of bed, even if I drag my feet a little.
I think homeschooling is the same way. We believe that it will be worth it in the end, but some days we just aren't motivated to do it. Some days we drag our feet but still get out of bed and do it. We can keep our motivation up by remembering those incredible feelings we've had. Even if we've only been homeschooling for a short time there are little successes to celebrate. If you need something to keep you getting out of bed this time of year find a homeschool mom farther along on the journey than you. Someone who can share some of the joys of homeschooling, who can give you encouragement to overcome those "hurdles" that you are facing.
So today keep in mind the bigger picture, not just the goals we have for our children and the rewards of homeschooling, but the incredible hope that we share because of our risen Savior.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
The Laundry Business
Since my 6th child was born seven years ago I have averaged between 10-13 loads of laundry a week. This averages out to about 4800 loads in the last seven years. I attempted to figure out how many loads of laundry I have done since I got married, but stopped after realizing that the amount of laundry I did in the first 3 years of my marriage (when it was us and then just one child) is about equal to the amount of laundry I do in a year now. It's hard to imagine that I now do three times as much laundry as I did as a young wife and mother. It amazes me actually because I had trouble keeping up with it then. Had I realized what was coming that could have been overwhelming. Actually now that I think about it there were a few years that were overwhelming.
I mention this because laundry and housework can be one of the hurdles to our homeschooling, or at least one of the things that discourages us. I am sure that most of us know of a homeschool mom who is super organized on this point and has a clean house almost all of the time. Some of us might even be that mom.
Just to keep it real I want to make it known that being a domestic goddess is not my strong suit, it's not written into my genetic code. It has actually taken me the last 14 years of motherhood to figure out a good system of keeping my house clean enough and my laundry done. Even then I think there is still room for improvement, I'm just too tired to tweak my system right now. I am not much of a list maker or a list follower for that matter, so I had to figure all this out by trial and error. Some of my friends could probably tell you stories of my years of error (which is why they aren't writing on my blog).
Laundry is actually one of my more favorite chores. I don't really have a favorite chore, but if I did laundry would be up there. I don't mind the washing and the folding, it's the putting away and the hanging up of clothes that sometimes doesn't get done as quickly as I would like. And I don't iron. Actually there were several years I didn't own an iron. Don't worry my husband hasn't suffered from this. He is a carpenter and I am sure that people would laugh if he showed up to tile in a freshly pressed shirt, or at least I hope they would.
I only do my laundry once a week. Friday is laundry day at our house. I try to do all 13 loads in one day (with the aid of whomever is my laundry helper for the week), but a lot of weeks I end up doing a couple loads on Saturday. I know for some of my friends the thought of all that laundry piled up would be overwhelming, but it gives me a motivation, something to accomplish. I have tried doing a couple loads of laundry every day and that makes me feel like I am ALWAYS doing laundry, and that feels oppressive to me.
As tedious and oppressive as homemaking tasks can feel to some of us we can make them more of a drudgery than they are. If I look back on the 680 (or more) loads of laundry I have done in the last year that can feel like an accomplishment, but if I think of all the dishes I have yet to do and the laundry I have yet to wash that will feel like a burden. Being a homeschooling mom can be a challenge, but we can also make it a pursuit. We can take charge of our days and give them all we've got (which granted some days is less than others). The mops, brooms, washers, stoves, pencils and other tools of the trade that we use can be implements of worship.
There are many resources available that can help with setting up a system for keeping your house in order. To be honest most of them have not worked for me, I find them to be too structured. In recent weeks I have taken a personality test and I have realized the reason for this is because most housekeeping systems are put together by Beavers (or people who really like details). I am not a fan of details, but the longer I homeschool and try to manage 6 kids the more I realize they are necessary. I just try to limit the amount of details I have to deal with on a daily basis for the sake of my free spirit. I have included some resources in the article to systems that I have borrowed some things from, but it's important to note that I came up with what worked for me. It is amazing how many resources are available not just for homeschooling but for managing our homes in general. Often when we find one that works for us we are so passionate that we tell others it's the way to go. That leaves those of us who can't make it work feeling like there is something wrong with us or our kids, especially in the early years of homeschooling/mothering. There is no failure here. Failure is when we stop trying. Sometimes we just need to try the system a little longer, sometimes we need to tweak it, and sometimes we just need to throw it out altogether. I encourage all of you moms who read this and are struggling to ask other moms what they do, and those of you who have systems that are working for you to comment and tell us what is working. A lot of what works for me is bits and pieces of other systems and advice from friends.
God's creativity amazes me. The way that He has made each one of us and our families to be so different. Each of my children with their own personalities and their own failings. I have a child who wishes I cared more about details, and a child whose idea of putting away clothes means shoving them into a drawer and trying to force it to close. We cannot expect to homeschool like our best friend, or to have as clean of a house as the super-organized mom at our church with a large family (that is not me by the way), but with the gifts and talents that God has given us we can find a way to make it work.
"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive and inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving." Colossians 3:23-24
www.flylady.com
www.Titus2.com
www.lisawhelchel.com
I mention this because laundry and housework can be one of the hurdles to our homeschooling, or at least one of the things that discourages us. I am sure that most of us know of a homeschool mom who is super organized on this point and has a clean house almost all of the time. Some of us might even be that mom.
Just to keep it real I want to make it known that being a domestic goddess is not my strong suit, it's not written into my genetic code. It has actually taken me the last 14 years of motherhood to figure out a good system of keeping my house clean enough and my laundry done. Even then I think there is still room for improvement, I'm just too tired to tweak my system right now. I am not much of a list maker or a list follower for that matter, so I had to figure all this out by trial and error. Some of my friends could probably tell you stories of my years of error (which is why they aren't writing on my blog).
Laundry is actually one of my more favorite chores. I don't really have a favorite chore, but if I did laundry would be up there. I don't mind the washing and the folding, it's the putting away and the hanging up of clothes that sometimes doesn't get done as quickly as I would like. And I don't iron. Actually there were several years I didn't own an iron. Don't worry my husband hasn't suffered from this. He is a carpenter and I am sure that people would laugh if he showed up to tile in a freshly pressed shirt, or at least I hope they would.
I only do my laundry once a week. Friday is laundry day at our house. I try to do all 13 loads in one day (with the aid of whomever is my laundry helper for the week), but a lot of weeks I end up doing a couple loads on Saturday. I know for some of my friends the thought of all that laundry piled up would be overwhelming, but it gives me a motivation, something to accomplish. I have tried doing a couple loads of laundry every day and that makes me feel like I am ALWAYS doing laundry, and that feels oppressive to me.
As tedious and oppressive as homemaking tasks can feel to some of us we can make them more of a drudgery than they are. If I look back on the 680 (or more) loads of laundry I have done in the last year that can feel like an accomplishment, but if I think of all the dishes I have yet to do and the laundry I have yet to wash that will feel like a burden. Being a homeschooling mom can be a challenge, but we can also make it a pursuit. We can take charge of our days and give them all we've got (which granted some days is less than others). The mops, brooms, washers, stoves, pencils and other tools of the trade that we use can be implements of worship.
There are many resources available that can help with setting up a system for keeping your house in order. To be honest most of them have not worked for me, I find them to be too structured. In recent weeks I have taken a personality test and I have realized the reason for this is because most housekeeping systems are put together by Beavers (or people who really like details). I am not a fan of details, but the longer I homeschool and try to manage 6 kids the more I realize they are necessary. I just try to limit the amount of details I have to deal with on a daily basis for the sake of my free spirit. I have included some resources in the article to systems that I have borrowed some things from, but it's important to note that I came up with what worked for me. It is amazing how many resources are available not just for homeschooling but for managing our homes in general. Often when we find one that works for us we are so passionate that we tell others it's the way to go. That leaves those of us who can't make it work feeling like there is something wrong with us or our kids, especially in the early years of homeschooling/mothering. There is no failure here. Failure is when we stop trying. Sometimes we just need to try the system a little longer, sometimes we need to tweak it, and sometimes we just need to throw it out altogether. I encourage all of you moms who read this and are struggling to ask other moms what they do, and those of you who have systems that are working for you to comment and tell us what is working. A lot of what works for me is bits and pieces of other systems and advice from friends.
God's creativity amazes me. The way that He has made each one of us and our families to be so different. Each of my children with their own personalities and their own failings. I have a child who wishes I cared more about details, and a child whose idea of putting away clothes means shoving them into a drawer and trying to force it to close. We cannot expect to homeschool like our best friend, or to have as clean of a house as the super-organized mom at our church with a large family (that is not me by the way), but with the gifts and talents that God has given us we can find a way to make it work.
"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive and inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving." Colossians 3:23-24
www.flylady.com
www.Titus2.com
www.lisawhelchel.com
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