How is my resolve holding out?

   As the last week in January comes I find it hard to believe that only a month ago we were winding down from Christmas and getting ready for a new start in 2012.  It made me look back a bit to see how my January has gone.

   Surprisingly a lot of my resolutions are still holding their resolve.  Perhaps because I made them into several small steps I could take every week.  And there are a few that I have not been doing consistently...yet.  I think I can pick them up as I start getting back into a routine.  I am also considering that perhaps some of these goals can be shifted around a bit.  Meaning I can focus on some more each month and some less.  That not only gives them some flexibility, but I think it will also keep me from getting bored or overwhelmed by my lack of progress.  I hope at least.  I am concerned that there is also a possibility that if I don't focus on all of them continually I run the risk of never setting up good habits.  I think I remember that it takes 21 days to make a habit and 3 days to break one, so goals like regular exercise or focusing on my husband more can't really be moved around much, but some things like spending more time with friends can be focused on more some months than others. 

   Not surprisingly I am not accomplishing some of the goals as quickly as I would like.  I do have a whole year to do them, but every week I have a few small steps to complete towards each goal and some of those are not getting done on my time frame.  Perhaps some of them are unrealistic, given the small amount of time I have every week, but some seasons are busier than others, so I keep thinking there is hope for me.  And come July if a lot of things are still left undone I guess I will have a better idea if my expectations are unrealistic or if my time management skills are. 

Same Kind of New Year as before...sort of

   So I had grand plans for the New Year.  I had broken up my goals for the year into bite-size pieces, which I was sure would make them easier to accomplish.  I was going to blog today about the bite size goals I had made for myself so that I could accomplish some of the things I had resolved to do this year......and then I had one of those days.

   I woke up certain that I could make headway on some of my goals and get a few things done today.  I didn't even think I had overloaded myself and I was sure that I would have a few minutes of free time at the end of the day to do with as I wished.  However, not only did I not manage to accomplish those few things, but I also messed several things up today making more work for myself. 

   I was so frustrated.  I have been reading some great books since Christmas break.  One Thousand Gifts  by Ann Voskamp, The Resolution for Women by Priscilla Shirer and Mastering the Seven Decisions that Determine Personal Success by Andy Andrews and I have been so motivated that this year I can make some of the changes that need to be made.  So, it was discouraging to me that I couldn't even take a few small steps towards my goal.

   A couple hours later it makes me chuckle to just think about it.  As if I expected that the resolve I have for the New Year of 2012 means that my days are full of accomplishments and free of the hiccups and wrinkles that come with life.  As if having six children and a husband never cause me more work than I expected.  It does seem silly now, but a couple hours ago it was almost enough for me to just chuck it and give up for the day.  One day lost is certainly not the end of the world. 

   However, I also know that giving up on even small goals one day can make it easier to give up on them day after day.  So, I decided it would be better to take a deep breath, and then determine which of the goals I am still able to accomplish.  Certainly not the three that I had intended for the day, but I can at least try to get one done. 

   So, there it is.  I discovered today that 2012 will be much like 2011 in terms of the things that I am able to control.  I will still have days that don't run smoothly, or anywhere close for that matter, but I decided today to do my best to redeem the hours that I had left.  So, it's the same kind of New Year as before...sort of.

Not knowing where to begin

   Really most times that I sit down to blog it's a post that has been running through my head all day.  Something that came up that I started thinking about and just had to share.  The last couple weeks though I haven't had any idea what to write about.  I do keep a list of things to write about, but none of them seemed "inspiring" to me.   I knew that if I sat down and started typing there would be something to say, but since I wasn't sure what I would have to say I did nothing.

   My "real" life is like that too.  I have a whole list of things I would like to get done, and I know if I just get started then something will get done.  But sometimes I am afraid that I won't have time to finish, so I would rather not start, and sometimes I am not sure how to tackle the task, so I do nothing instead.  And a lot of the time I am just not excited about doing it.   It doesn't make a lot of sense to me, because I know that making the effort feels good even if I get nothing accomplished (most of the time anyway). 

   Today there are no children in my house.  This rarely happens.  I did have grand plans today.  I had a few things to catch up on and then I was going to scrapbook.  However, it's 5:30 now and I have yet to get my scrapbook stuff out.   I needed to make another bath of homemade laundry detergent today and I did that.  And now I am blogging which I also wanted to stop neglecting.  But my scrapbooks didn't get brought out yet because I went out and dipped in the kid's wading pool and read a magazine.  Not productive at all, and I am glad we have a privacy fence as my neighbors would surely have gotten a laugh out of me sitting in the kids pool.  But, I was hot and I can never cool myself off in their pool when the kids are home, because I get splashed.  Not to mention who could read with kids running around outside?  Whenever I try that I almost always end up reading the same sentence over and over until I want to cry (and not only does that freak the kids out, but I also don't want them to think that I am the kind of mother who would rather read or do "my stuff" than watch them play and hang out with them).

   So, this what my summer has been like.  I have a list of goals and things I would like to do, but so far I don't feel like I've gotten anywhere and school starts SOON!  I am actually not really sure when I'm going to start school, but I do suddenly feel like time is running out on me.  And not knowing where to begin has really left me with not doing much of anything (now since I rarely get to do hardly anything that is it's own blessing I suppose). 

    So, my plan for the next month is to give myself specific tasks to do each day to get my goals done.  For example I have 2 boxes full of magazines that I need to go through.  I am using them for a craft for the preschoolers at church and I am cutting letters out of them, and pictures of children.  Doesn't seem like a big deal except that those magazines have been sitting in my basement since April.  I decided I am going to get rid of them this summer.  I decided that I would do at least 2 magazines a day.  Now, I still have 2 boxes sitting in my basement, but the piles in them are getting smaller.  So, if I do the same thing with scrapbooks and my other goals then I just might get somewhere.   So, for the next month I am going to make myself blog every day even if it's really short and dumb (wish I could think of a more creative word than that).  Please feel free to skip the dumb posts.  I am hoping by doing this not only will I get in a good habit of writing every day, but also of organizing my thoughts, becoming more concise, and getting some good ideas.  (When I am blogging I always seem to think of things I would like to write about). 

   So, here's to coming up with a place to begin, because a little something done every day can end up being a big thing.  Hoping big things (or at least accomplished goals) come out of me tackling my little projects one little step at a time.

The lazy days of summer?

      To be honest summer is my least favorite season.  For one thing I am not much for the heat.  I remember as a teenager I used to love taking naps outside in my swimsuit, but now the thought of that makes me ill (and not just because the thought of putting on a swimsuit is slightly tainted by the fact that I've had 6 kids),but because being in the sun too much makes me feel sick and gives me headaches. 

    Anyway, while summer was once a time to sit and enjoy reading books and having fun in the sun I now look forward to it for all I can get accomplished.  Sometimes I wish that I could have a summer where I didn't have to do much, but honestly that makes me a little cranky thinking of all the things that would never get done.  

   I love homeschooling because of the flexibility it creates, and we do have a little bit of school over the summer...a few hours here and there to catch up on stuff and to make sure we don't forget anything.  For the most part though I take as much time off as I can simply because I need it.  I know once school starts (and all the activities that go with it like Awana for example) the time I have to get things done shrinks to about 30-45 minutes a day.  I would like to say an hour, but if you count all the interruptions from various children I am sure that takes at least 15 minutes off the clock, even if I was working on the same thing for an hour.  This is true even if I hide in the bathroom (also known as the teacher's lounge), because my children always know when I am in there.  

   And honestly, even though I know it shouldn't be the case I am just crankier when school is in session for the simple fact that there is less time for me and more time spent helping other people (mainly the tribe that lives here), sometimes more time than I would like to spend.  I think that sacrifice is necessary for my growth, but I can espouse on that some other time.   I am a nicer person in the summer.  I would like to be that same nice person year round even when I have more responsibilities, but I am a work in progress.

    What I am looking forward to most this summer is getting a few things done.  Some of these things have been on my to-do list since January, but I am hoping this summer I can accomplish at least a few.  So, here is my list of what I hope to be doing during these "lazy" summer days.

• deep cleaning (actually this one is fairly easy since I already did some this spring--I have one kids room left)
• scrapbooks--honestly I would love to get all caught up, but my goal for the summer is to catch up just 1 year (I am 3 years behind)
• learn to crochet---I did try this in the Spring, but I could not figure it out.  It may not be for me, but I am sure hopeful that with my daughter's help I can actually make something.  I have my eye on a project I would like to attempt, so we'll see.
• "spruce up" my blog--there are some changes I would like to make here as well, but I certainly need some uninterrupted time to work on that.
• work on my family tree---For Christmas I gave my dad a family tree that goes back 5 generations.  I started doing the research for him, but as it turns out I really enjoy it.  There were some holes that I couldn't find information for and I would like to have time to get some of that figured out.
• I have a stack of 5 or 6 books that have been waiting for me, and a list of even more that I would love to read...so I will be doing at least a little reading.  I have been trying to read while on the treadmill, but that makes me a bit dizzy.
• Be nice to my neighbor---I am sure this sounds funny, but I found out today that my neighbor thinks I don't like her.  Apparently she has said hi to me a few times and I didn't respond.  I would not have ignored her on purpose, so I am either deaf or just relieved to be outside without any children bothering me.  So, I am praying for ways to show her that she is important to me.
• Do a puzzle.  Oh, I love puzzles, but when they are out I can't do anything else, so I don't get them out during the school year.  If I get enough of my goals accomplished maybe I can do more than one puzzle, or maybe I will do several and just leave a few of my goals unfinished, after all they have been waiting for several months already.
• Finishing my son's blanket---I would like to finish cross-stitching a blanket that I started for my son several years ago.  He is almost 8 by the way, but insists that he would still like to have it, so I am going to try and finish it...sometime...in the not too distant future.
• I found some great systems that work for me around here, but there are a couple areas of my life that I would like to be a bit better organized, so I am going to try and figure out how to put that onto paper.  For one thing the number of library books that come home with us and then don't get returned on time bothers me.  I have some checked out, my kids have some checked out...I think I will blog about this one day and perhaps come up with a great solution for next year.  I also need to supplement my calendar system...still thinking about that.
• Be thriftier...I have some tips I would like to try and see if they do help around here.  Problem is they involve trips to the store and money (although they should save me money in the end).

• Unfinished projects.  There are several small things around here that could be accomplished with just a few hours over here, or a couple phone calls (trips to the vet, getting the ducts cleaned, finishing a craft project that's more than halfway done).  It would feel great if I could finish these up--or just even one or two.

  Reading over that I'm not sure there will be much time to enjoy summer, so I will have to try and spread it out and do just a little each day.  And yet reading the list also makes me feel so excited and ambitious that I can hardly wait to get started, so I think my summer will be enjoyable anyway, even if I'm not laying around.