Same Kind of New Year as before...sort of

   So I had grand plans for the New Year.  I had broken up my goals for the year into bite-size pieces, which I was sure would make them easier to accomplish.  I was going to blog today about the bite size goals I had made for myself so that I could accomplish some of the things I had resolved to do this year......and then I had one of those days.

   I woke up certain that I could make headway on some of my goals and get a few things done today.  I didn't even think I had overloaded myself and I was sure that I would have a few minutes of free time at the end of the day to do with as I wished.  However, not only did I not manage to accomplish those few things, but I also messed several things up today making more work for myself. 

   I was so frustrated.  I have been reading some great books since Christmas break.  One Thousand Gifts  by Ann Voskamp, The Resolution for Women by Priscilla Shirer and Mastering the Seven Decisions that Determine Personal Success by Andy Andrews and I have been so motivated that this year I can make some of the changes that need to be made.  So, it was discouraging to me that I couldn't even take a few small steps towards my goal.

   A couple hours later it makes me chuckle to just think about it.  As if I expected that the resolve I have for the New Year of 2012 means that my days are full of accomplishments and free of the hiccups and wrinkles that come with life.  As if having six children and a husband never cause me more work than I expected.  It does seem silly now, but a couple hours ago it was almost enough for me to just chuck it and give up for the day.  One day lost is certainly not the end of the world. 

   However, I also know that giving up on even small goals one day can make it easier to give up on them day after day.  So, I decided it would be better to take a deep breath, and then determine which of the goals I am still able to accomplish.  Certainly not the three that I had intended for the day, but I can at least try to get one done. 

   So, there it is.  I discovered today that 2012 will be much like 2011 in terms of the things that I am able to control.  I will still have days that don't run smoothly, or anywhere close for that matter, but I decided today to do my best to redeem the hours that I had left.  So, it's the same kind of New Year as before...sort of.

I'm Just Too Busy

    Funny thing about this time of year is that we tend to look back and evaluate what we've done and think about the things we want to do.  We can call them resolutions or goals, but I think most of us really do have a "resolve" to make something in our life a little better.  Once the hectic atmosphere of Christmas passes I always feel like there are things that I want to do better next year---don't we all?  I know a lot of us hate to make resolutions that we won't keep, but if you're anything like me, you know there are things in your life that need to change.

   Which is why I am back here on my blog.  I have not kept up with it the way I imagined and over the last couple months I have been thinking that I would just let my blog become inactive.  I am just not a blogger I said to myself...I just don't have time for it...and many other excuses I could come up with.

    To be honest it was hard for me to even sit down this morning and write, because I haven't written anything in several months and I feel a bit sheepish.  However, I realized that for the last few months I have just been making excuses.  The truth is we make time for the things that are important to us.  I know as a homeschool mom I am always busy, but I also know that if my best friend calls I will stop and take a few minutes to talk to her.  If one of my kids gets sick I will take them to the doctor.  I routinely take the dogs for a walk and clean my house, and I homeschool.  Even though these things can eat up my time (and A LOT of it) and sometimes make me cranky the truth is they are important to me and I am not too busy to do them.  I have made choices about those things (conscious or unconscious).  

   If I hadn't enjoyed blogging then that would be a different thing, then it wouldn't be quitting.  It would have been an experience.  No different than trying a new food and deciding it's not something you would eat again.  No one feels like a failure for not eating something they didn't like after giving it a try or even two.  However, I do enjoy blogging.  I just felt frustrated that I had great ideas of what to put in my blog and then when I finally sat down to do it at the end of the day I wasn't motivated, or the post I had thought of earlier is no longer to be found in my brain.  I felt like it wasn't as wonderful as I thought.  So, in essence even though I didn't think I was making a conscious decision to quit I was.  Every thing we do in life is by our choice whether we do something or do nothing.  Letting things go by the wayside, whether it's friendships, or hobbies or a blog, is a choice to not do those things. 

    So here I am again, because I enjoy blogging.  I am here again because if we try again then we aren't failing.  If Edison could attempt to make the incandescent lightbulb thousands of times before finally getting the right combination then I have many attempts to fit blogging into my life and find the way that it works for me. 

   For that matter as I start 2012 I have many attempts to "re-try" other things in my life that haven't gone the way I wanted them to this year, and maybe I will finally succeed, or maybe I will have to try again next year, we'll see.