Dread or Anticipation?

   For many of us today is the first day back to homeschool for the Spring semester.  Talking with another homeschool mom yesterday I found that she didn't really want to go back to school today, and as it turns out my kids don't either. 

   I must admit that my first response thinking about school starting back again was similar.  Homeschooling takes up so much of my time and having a few days to just hang out with my kids, or read a book was like taking a breath of fresh mountain air (which seems fresher than the city air I normally breathe).   Part of me wanted to stay on break forever, even if my kids were starting to fight and asking if they could have more video game time, etc. 

   Yet, this morning just about all of my friends who send their kids off to school are thrilled that Christmas break is over, and I realized I should be equally excited about this opportunity to be on this journey with my kids.  When they were small, and I was new in my homeschool journey everything was fresh and I was excited.  Now, I have been homeschooling for 11 years and there are days that I am counting down the years I have left--trying to hurry through this journey that God has called me to.

   I think I have forgotten that I am connected to the ultimate Lifesource.  I have Living Water to drink from.  If I am drinking that water then my well should never run dry.  Moreover,  I know from experience that when I am doing something that God has called me to do then I will be filled over and over again, just when I need it.  The problem is that sometimes I am doing more than He wants me to do, or I expect more of myself than He does.

   So, this morning I woke up anticipating this gift that He has given me this morning.  This gift of teaching my children, and not just academics but so many other things.  This gift of learning with my children.  Mostly though homeschooling has given me this gift of being broken and spilled out for the sake of my children, for the sake of the call that He gave me.  Rather than asking why He called me and not those other moms who are enjoying a cup of coffee in a quiet house I am going to ask why not me.  Why shouldn't I have been given this privilege even if it comes at great cost to what I perceive to be my needs? My thoughts reminded me of a quote I had read before.

   "One morning I was reading the story of Jesus' feeding of the five thousand.  The disciples could find only five loaves of bread and two fishes.  'Let me have them,' said Jesus.  He asked for all.  He took them, said the blessing, and broke them before he gave them out.  I remembered what a chapel speaker, Ruth Stull of Peru, had said : 'If my life is broken when given to Jesus, it is because pieces will feed a multitude, while a loaf will only satisfy a little lad.'"--Elisabeth Elliot

   Happy homeschooling today!