I have been thinking the past few days of the words to the Matt Redman song, "The Heart of Worship." When the music fades and all is stripped away and I simply come...
It has been on my mind because that is how I have been feeling the last couple months...and thus the reason I haven't been blogging. It's hard to know what to write when God is stripping so many things out of my life. There are days when He is my lifeline and my rescue and days when I feel like I am hanging on by a thread. Unfortunately the good days I get so many things done that there isn't time to blog and the bad days I don't want to write anything. As a matter of fact the bad days I am unmotivated to do much of anything.
But here I am because I love writing, and even if I have to go based off a list of topics I am going to start blogging several times a week. Right now all the good and bad thoughts are just swirling around in there together and I think it will be freeing to have some of them out on paper. Writing about the good things will make me feel better. I have been having my kids write about what they are grateful for and what they are angry about. I thought it might help them deal with some of the transitions we have experienced this year, and some of those that we are still processing. Then it occurred to me that it would be a help to me as well. So, while some things will remain in my own private journal, some things will be shared here as well, as a way to remind myself that not everything going on around us is a trial we must walk through. Our lives are filled with sorrow and suffering, but also with glory and grace.
God has been asking me to let go of some things the last couple months and they are big things, and they are painful. He has some big changes for us on the horizon, and as hard as that is it's also exciting. After all He led the Egyptians through the desert in order to get them to the promised land. I am not looking for a land of milk and honey, but I have to admit it would be nice to leave sorrow and suffering behind at least for a little while.
So, if anyone is still reading I hope that you will join me on the journey of looking for the little love notes that God is leaving me along the way.
The way that God reminded me of His love today was that He helped me find a missing library book. That seems small, but there are times that it seems like if one more things goes wrong it will put me over the edge. So, one less worry today is more helpful than it seems.